Is life a comedy or a tragedy? Are we the hero or the victim? Or maybe the villain? Is the world descending into chaos and dystopia or are we on a path of ever-increasing prosperity and progress? The stories we tell orient us to our place in the world and our role in the story.
The Bible tells the story of a loving God and a messy people. There is a beginning and an end. Major themes of creation, redemption, and sanctification trace the arc of this grand narrative. And Jesus Christ is the center of it all – the great hero of the story who comes incognito to rescue and redeem his broken creation.
Invocation
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Invitation
Risen Christ, by your death and resurrection you brought dawn to darkness. You have made a new way, from death to life, cross to crown, grave to glory. We are frail creatures in a world of change and decay. Rule over us in your resurrection power. Subdue sin and evil, disease and destruction. We have nothing apart from you, for you live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever, Amen.
Confession
O Lord, I live a world of dead ends. There is always an end. An end to my energy. My time. My love. My patience. My money. My very life. I am trapped by limits. I am burdened by my frail, finite limits. I have exhausted all other options. Nothing else satisfies. You burst forth from the grave to give me life beyond the horizon. You are my singular hope, my only prayer. Risen Savior, have mercy on my dead ends.
Word: Matthew 14:31
“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’”
Meditation: Wind of Doubt by Susan Becher Schultz
After what I went through last year, I truly believed I would never doubt Jesus again. Between then and now, my life has completely turned upside down and inside out. Between health traumas, job changes, and a move from the east coast back to the midwest, my husband and I landed back on our feet relatively quickly. We had a wild period of transition, to find ourselves much better off than where we started. We doubted every single step of the way and were blown away when the pieces fell somewhat too perfectly into place.
As I said, I didn’t think after that I would ever doubt again. And yet, I find it seeping back into my everyday life. I doubt my ability to succeed at my job. I doubt that I’ll be successful when I start grad school in the fall. I compare myself to coworkers, friends, family members, and I can’t see how I can ever measure up. I doubt why I’m even at the job I’m at. It’s everywhere, all over again. All of these doubts build up and take over. Just like Peter in this passage, they rise up and blow my way all at once, a wind of doubt.
I come undone in the name of doubt. I am unable to recover when it hits too hard, or too close to home. It’s impossible, when it all builds up, to see doubt for what it is. Instead of an emotion, it becomes a reality. Instead of a passing feeling, it becomes ingrained in who we are.
Why do we do it? Why do we doubt? I feel like Jesus must be exhausted from having to remind us to trust him time and time again. It clearly is something that happened to those who followed him, and it hasn’t stopped all this time later. Even in performing miracle after miracle, his disciples continued to doubt.
This brings me to believe that Jesus knew doubt wasn’t going anywhere. Even though we think we have evolved since then, in this capacity, we haven’t. Which means he knew we needed to hear these words, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Because if Peter didn’t trust Jesus standing a few feet away, how would we, thousands of years away from this night?
Doubt will always be a part of me. But I don’t think the moral of this story is to stop doubting completely. I think what this so beautifully illustrates is Jesus’ ability to step into our doubting. To reach in and catch us. To remind us we’ve doubted before, and he was there then too. It’s also a reminder that we aren’t alone in our doubting. We’re all guilty of it. Together, we’re a community of doubters. But that means we aren’t alone in our doubting.
Peter wasn’t the only person on the boat. Jesus steps into the doubt, again and again, to remind us we have him, and we have one another. We are never alone in our wind of doubts.
Jesus, thank you for surrounding me with a community of other believers so that I don’t have to feel alone in my doubts. Continue to remind me of your presence so that I may face hard things knowing you are with me. Amen.
Benediction
The God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (I Pet. 5:10-11)